Today I am the bug!!!
by, 07-03-2012 at 01:32 PM (1097 Views)
It is said - and rightly so - "Sometimes you're the wind sheild - Sometimes you'r the bug."
Well - it seems that TODAY - I am the bug!. Telecom is a funny duckling. It is, as I have always stated, the wild wild west of the corporate world. It's the only place, that I know of, that a convicted felon can actually have a fair shot at becoming a VP for some high dollar company. It's a place where a non-college graduate can make over 100K a year. It's also the place where you can climb up, AND DOWN, the corporate ladder without even knowing where you are in relevance to the ground - until you hit it! And gravity is a motherf**R!!
I was recently "promoted"!!! I came in to my new position with the expectations of becoming a full blown market lead!! FINALLY!!!! - I'd been working weekends, holidays, Christmas, New Years, Easter, my birthday....ok not my birthday, but most other holidays I would be there to work. I would back up my market leads on the end of the year push and actually take care of multiple markets at the end of the 4th quarter. So, while they were on vacation - I was out running materials and attending all the conference calls and customer face to face meetings and all the other market lead crap that it takes to successfully close out the end of the year projects. In other words - I paid my dues.
What did I get in return? A shot at "The Show"!! I got a call from one of the regional managers that there was help needed in a market and that I had been selected, mostly since I was local, but also because I had worked for him in the past and he knew my work ethic, to come in a help make a market successful. This is what I do! ****excitement in hand**** I went and told my boss, and best friend as a matter of fact, that I want my own shot at the big time. He agreed and made all the proper phone calls and I was in!! Everything worked out the way it was supposed. I was selected and went in for an interview, very non-formal sine I already had the job. I was TOLD I was going to be the new market manager by the old market manager and the regional manager and the hiring manager. I was TOLD that I would be brought in on a lesser position simply to get me in market and then I would have my official title changed when HR caught up with the process. "Does this sound familiar to anyone?" "All we need is for you to help us catch up the NTPs that are behind right now" Being a tean player, I of COURSE agreed!! "I'll do anything you need me to do!!" I came in with my big boy pants ready to lead an entire market. Queue Mighty Mouse Intro "Here I come to save the day!!!"
Here is where it gets funny - funny queer not funny haha!!
So I come in and immediately I was treated like a low level construction manager right off the bat - in comes the defensive mode bandit - he's an EXTREME SMART ASS!!! I think we all have one of these guys in our midst. He's the guy that's with you right before a bar fight and nowhere around once you start rolling in the dirt.
So now I'm in play doing what I need to right? A week goes by and no mention of my market lead position - 2 weeks, 3 weeks, one month - by this time I'm so at odds with those around me that I don't want to be here anymore. I'm ready to walk out!!! "FUCK THEM I CAN GET A JOB ANYWHERE!!" And thank My Lord Jesus Christ - He has blessed me with a multiple personality disorder known as knowing one's self very very well! So I said to myself, "Self?" That's what I call myself...."self". I said "self -what do you wanna do? There are 2 options - we can either change our surroundings if we're not happy, or we can change our expectations" Tony Robins taught me that in one of his classes that I have attended.
I decided to change my surroundings. I called my hiring manager and he finally, after some conversation and hesitation, he admitted to me getting screwed. Although I must admit that there were a few short seconds where I thought he was going to turn on me and get mad for actually calling them on it!! :( Somethings were misstated without me being there and somethings were done on a wish and a prayer and not on what was REALLY available. Long story short - The position I was hired for is no longer there because the person that is in that position was hired 2 weeks before I interviewed. It happened to be one of my close friends and an extreme Christian so I am glad he has the position! That still does not help me though. Although he admitted to screwing me inadvertently, and has given his blessing for me to reach out to HR and try and get a remote position on a higher management level, I now have no where to go because I personally filled my previous slot in another project with a good close personal friend of mine and can no longer rescind my move over to this new project; PLUS - there are now no more positions that I am qualified to do remotely across the country!! I'm in serious trouble here!! I've worked my ASS OFF for the past 7 years to get where I am and I am seriously looking at the possibility of getting all that taken away from me. I have been unemployed for 45 days, my son is now living with me, I took a big vacation and I am running low on change - not cash - I mean I running low on change!!! I HAVE NO MONEY!!!
As you can probably tell, this is NOT a place to be. I now have a legitimate complaint and a serious weed up my ass!! Here is the reality of it from my point of view:
1. I was just demoted without deserving it.
2. I was just lied to without deserving it.
3. I just had my salary cut by 20K/yr because of the cost of living in The South - "God bless the South" and was not told about it.
4. I came in with an attitude to take over the world as king and now I am on the wall being asked to raise one of the ladders while the people above me are throwing stones and hot oil all over me. At least I've already passed the inner range of the archers right?
WHAT WOULD JESUS DO? Ummmm.....he would NEVER have gone in to Telecom!!!! Ok, so now I have to decide on my own and not base my decision on any precedent set in MY life because I've never liked a company as much as I do the one I am currently working for!!
Upon talking to my line managers, I get the sense that I can either be a good little CM and shut up or Ic an complain and either get fired or quit.
This is the point of all this mumbo jumbo -
I am now faced with an obvious choice. What to do? Do I stay on as a lower level CM or do I demand to get moved into a upper level management role based on the mistake that was done?
Sometimes - you just have to have a beer!! And I had SEVERAL pondering the thought of quitting and telling them to go F themselves. Thank God I am grown up now and have a son that I truly love and want around...so quitting is no longer an option. I was now only faced with one option, I have to go back an reconsider the nature of my relationship with my company and coworkers that I've pissed off because of my poor attitude the last month. DAMN!!! ****feeling of despair and wanting to jump off a bridge over a major interstate during rush hour overcomes me**** I HATE APOLOGIZING!!! Not because I'm above it, but because I make DAMNED sure that I cross my T's and dot my i's BEFORE I OPEN MY MOUTH!! This was NOT my fault, but I am still AT FAULT!! SPLAT!!! I am now the bug and have accepted it.
Guys - this is telecom! Things are just not fair sometimes!! I went from making it into upper level management by doing everything I was asked to do and then some with multiple letters of recommendation from multiple markets serving multiple regional managers to a CMII position without being told or given a choice!! Is this fair? NO!! Am I going to quit - NOPE!! I'm a team player and God has a plan. THAT is the ONE THING that saved me. Knowing that I do not know what the plan is makes it easier to deal with the unknown. Loving my industry and knowing that I work for a great company keeps me focused. He has a plan for me and even though I might not know enough to realize what that plan is, I do know He is there and constantly working at it.
So now I go into save my job mode. I call the immediate manager above me and tell him I owe him an apology. I call the guys that I've worked around and apologize to them. I feel SOO MUCH BETTER that I have a great great time over the weekend. I go back in on Monday and all is ok.
Again - this is telecom - if you think you've got it all figured out, you don't! If you throw a fit at every turn, you won't make it. If you complain and complain - you won't make it. Take the good with the bad. If life gives you lemons....trade them for limes and do some tequila shots!!! Whatever it takes - don't quit!! Unless there are circumstances that you KNOW will not get better, do not quit!!
The end? Nope - That's the point of this blog. I'm still here. Am I happy? Yes!! I now know what I have to do. I'm gonna be a CM. And I'll be the best F'n CM they're ever had. Will I get another shot? Of course I will. Them throwing me this curve and me being able to stay with it and succeed will prove to them that I can handle anything they throw at me and do it with a smile. Don't get punked, but consider what will happen if you do the "prideful" thing. Don't mess up everything you're worked for just to save face. My dad was a Kickapoo indian and he used have a saying that he brought wit him from mexico "Mejor aqui corrillo que aqui murio" I hope I spelled that occrectly. "it's betetr for them to say "he ran here" than "he died here". Did I get screwed, of course I did. Do I like, not really, but I will make the best of it. will it get fixed? I hope so. if not, then I've got to work my way back up again, and that's it!!!
god Bless the Telecom Industry and GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!